So… I have a son now.

I still can’t believe it. It’s been a wild ride the past few weeks, so this post will be all over the place, just as life has been.

Carter James Cauley was born on August 4th, at 6:26pm. ***I know, he doesn’t have a hat on, he’d just taken it off so I snapped the shot real quick.***

Newborn with Letter board
Black Doctors Matter
Our friend Nicole delivered the kiddo. Black OBGYNs matter, more on that later.
Dad cuts umbilical cord
Proud Dad with son

Quick rewind, Carter’s due date was actually August 1st, but he threw us a curve ball on July 10th. We went in for a checkup/ultrasound, and they decided to admit us because it looked like he was trying to come early.

Writing Before Delivery
“Writing” to pass time…. I was more than likely procrastinating.

4 long days later, nothing……. Candice was on a clear liquid/ice chip diet, so she was exhausted.

Pregnancy False Alarm

So they discharged us. It was a false alarm. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. My thoughts were racing with excitement and anticipation, but I was concerned as well.

Years ago, I lost a daughter early in the 2nd trimester. Outside of my Mom, Dad and a few close friends and family, I never talked much about it. The past several months, it’s been heavy on my mind. I kept wondering, “what if something goes wrong?” I don’t know if it’s normal for parents that’s been through similar situations to have those types of thoughts, but I did, and I didn’t want Candice to pick up on it and stress her even more.

Having a kid during a pandemic has been stressful enough. Candice was stuck in the house, other than neighborhood walk and doctors appointments. I wasn’t allowed to attend some of those appointments, often times I had to wait in the car. We couldn’t have an in-person baby shower nor could we have family in the hospital with us on delivery day. I lost 2 aunts within weeks of each other and I couldn’t get back to Texas for their funerals. That really sucked.

We did make the best of our circumstances by having a virtual baby shower. Funny thing is we almost didn’t go through with it, it felt like we were being a burden when we’re all facing such uncertain times. We were shocked to receive so many gifts and well-wishes, we couldn’t have scripted a more reassuring outcome. You should all have your thank you notes by now, but thanks to everyone that was able to attend!

Baby Bump
It’s blurry, but you get the picture.
Baby Shower Gifts
So many gifts!

All things considered, I’m thankful the delivery went well and we’re all healthy.

Ya’ll be cool. And keep living.


Dad in Delivery Room

Opinion | If Joe Biden Is Not Elected President, Police Brutality Is Here To Stay….

At least for the next 20 years or so. Why? Because that’s the law of the land.


Tennessee v. Garner and Graham v. Connor are two pivotal supreme court decisions that should peak the interest of anyone wanting to see real punishment for police brutality. These cases give police officers nationwide, the right to brutalize and murder American citizens with little to no repercussions. They are the framework for local and state laws and provide abusive officers with a layer of protection directly from the top. Police departments and unions know this, officers are drilled on this, that’s why when there’s an incident, “I feared for my life” and “he fit the description of a ‘random’ suspect” are always the 1st lines of defense.

Don’t believe me? Look them up. Or listen to the short video I placed at the end of this post for a quick, mind-blowing overview. It’s real.

In 3 years, Donald Trump has given life long appointments to some of the most hardcore conservative men and women you can find. Trump has confirmed 2 supreme court justices, 40+ circuit court judges and over 100 district court judges, some of which are grossly unqualified. With a 2nd term, there will be many more so you could kiss any hopes of reform goodbye. Could you see Trump’s appointees welcoming changes that’ll prosecute law enforcement officers for police brutality and excessive force? Corruption? How about murder? Remember these are the forefathers of the #BlueLivesMatter movement we’re talking about, packed prisons means big money for them, why would they give that up? Ideologically, it’s not what they believe in, at all.

The new “Trumpublican” Party is playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. They’re setting up for the long run while we’re bickering and losing our shit because our preferred candidate didn’t get the nomination. At some point, we have to discipline ourselves to see the bigger picture and not be distracted by the “fake outrage” moment of the week.

Biden wouldn’t crack my top 5 preferred Presidential nominees, but at this point, I have no choice but to vote for him. Without him I see no realistic chance to get rid of Tennessee v. Garner and Graham v. Connor in the foreseeable future. What I do know is that we’ve been hustling backwards for decades and these 2 cases need to be in the forefront moving forward.

We can’t wait to “hear” what a candidate’s “black agenda” will be, we need to tell them what our demands are, and ask how do they plan to address it. Following the 2016 election debacle we did not do a good job of this. We know this because we hear nothing about these 2 court cases that directly props police brutality on a pedestal. Begrudgingly, I see Biden as a “stop-loss” of sorts, to buy time to properly prepare for 2024 and beyond. It’s the least he could do, considering the damage he’s done to black and brown communities.

I’ll close by shamelessly asking you to swallow your pride and vote for Biden in the Presidential election. In my opinion, the numbers are not in our favor to vote 3rd party or for a write in candidate, we did not do the work to build momentum for that to be a possibility.

I’m not saying this is ideal, but Malcolm said, “by any means necessary.”

Ya’ll be cool. And keep living.


***For more details on Tennessee v. Garner and Graham v. Conner, please listen to the following podcast from The Breakdown With Shaun King, it’s less than 18 minutes. I know many of you have your issues with Shaun – as do I – but when it comes to raising awareness and coordinating action for social justice, he’s a force and pretty spot on. Let me know what you think.

Happy Father’s Day

This post is going to be different from the ‘few’ that I actually do post. I usually have an idea but when I think about it too long, I’ll scratch it and move on.

A few months ago, one of my younger homies from back home hit me on Facebook and asked, “What percentage of my income do I put into my 401k?” I told him and naturally we ended up talking finances – something that a lot of black men refuse to do – so I was shocked because he’s never come to me with something like this before.

I know this has nothing to do with the title of the post, but next he tells me, “You should give this type of info more often because believe it or not, a lot of us back home look up to you.”

That’s when it hit me. My Dad died in 2009 but not a day goes by that I don’t make a decision based on the years worth of wisdom that he passed to me through countless conversations, lectures and scoldings. He was my Google before there was a Google. So many people do not have those direct life lessons to refer back to and I can’t imagine how lost I’d be without them. I vividly remember my Dad talking to me about his 401k in his drive way when I was about 13, but here I am in my 30s telling my lil bro what I know. And some day he’ll tell his son some of the same things and a whole lot more, because that’s how it should be, you live, you learn and teach the next generation, hopefully more than what was taught to you.

True story. Pops met Candice twice, once in passing while we were in college and again in our early 20s. Keep in mind that for my entire life, this man always told me to wait until I was at LEAST 30 to get into a serious relationship. The weekend he meets Candice, as she’s driving off, he tells me, “Marry her….. You don’t see it now, but I can see it in her eyes, she cares about you, you gotta marry her.”

Family Christmas PaThrowback with Candicerty
During the braces… She’s going to kill me by the way haha!

I was so confused, I’m like “Bro, you’ve known her for 48 hours, what happened to 30?” He just sips his beer, giggles and walks off. And then several years later, this happens…..

Caeser's Palace Wedding
Caeser’s Palace | Las Vegas, Nevada

Crazy, right?!

My boy Corey Barrett wrote a recent post that said something to the affect of “No matter what, the mother of my kids will ALWAYS be straight.” Now Corey’s my boy from college and he’s usually full of shit – lol sorry bro – but in that moment, he reminded me of my Pops.

My parents split when I was 3 and it was alway pretty ‘rocky’ for as far as I can remember. But no matter how bad it got between them, my Dad always looked out and made sure we were good. He’d often give me extra money and say “Your Mom will need this one day, but don’t tell her you got it from me.” He even kept my Mom on his medical insurance up until the day he died, because he said he wanted to make sure she was always ok. Odd as it may sound, I think I learned more about being a man by growing up without both parents in the same household.

With the parents
Late 80s
Mom and Dad

A few months after my Dad passed, I kinda ‘accidentally’ found out that his doctor had given him 2 years to live, but he didn’t want me to know. I was working, traveling and had just gotten into acting, so he wanted me to see the world and chase my dreams, not come running back to Lufkin to be around him. Looking back, I couldn’t even be mad, because, that’s exactly what I would’ve done and he knew that. All I can do is laugh and wonder how one can be that selfless?

I say all of this to say, if you’re a Dad, go be a Dad. Some way, some how make it happen, don’t let your ego or outside forces keep you away from your kids, because they need you. They need ALL of you now, because some day, they may not have you.

Summer Vacay
I think we were in San Antonio, my sister was silly too! lol

If you’re a son or a daughter and not on speaking terms with your Dad, it’s never too late to try to get things right.

Happy Father’s Day to Bobby Ray Cauley, Sr. and all of the other Dads out there.

Dude swear he was cool.

Ya’ll Be Cool.

-Bobby Ray Cauley, Jr.


Just like any other year, 2018 had it’s ups and downs. I never do “resolutions” for the New Year, but I always try to define a couple of solid goals to keep me grounded, both of which I was able to accomplish in 2018.

I told myself I’d book 2 tv co-star roles that would air on TV. That’s not something we can really control, but somehow it came together. Some of you already knew this and I appreciate the supportive texts, calls and social media posts, I LOVE and APPRECIATE you all for that!

First up, There was the “snitch” named “Kenny” that worked in the sandwich shop on the Emmy Award Winning limited series, American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace.

Bobby Cauley on set of American Crime Story

I wasn’t invited to the Emmy’s, so I was there in spirit… AND in my living room! 🙂

Emmy AwardsNext came the quick appearance as the golf caddy in NCIS.

Bobby Cauley on set of NCIS

The second goal was to finally SHOOT this freaking idea that I’d been kicking around since about 2012. I didn’t finally write the script until 2016, and I kept re-writing it until 2018 I said enough was enough, I had to shoot the thing, some way, some how.

Web-Series Casting

And I did. And I paid everyone, no handouts, no crowd sourcing or Go-Fund-Me’s included. I’m glad I did because I realized I kinda like the producing/writing side of things. There were a few setbacks, of course, but as of December 15th, I’m proud to say it’s now in post-production and in the beginnning stages of editing. I’ll keep you guys in the loop as soon as I have updates.

Location scouting and test shooting is what’s going on below.

Web Series Location Scouting

Web Series Test Shoot

Oh yea, one other thing happened, in 2018. I think it’s kinda big too….  I got engaged! Haha, it’s still crazy to think or say, but it happened. My apologies if you had to find out through this blog, but I’ve learned to keep some personal things off of social media.

Malibu Proposal

I saw Michelle Obama speak during her “Becoming Michelle Obama” book tour, which was nothing short of amazing. She’s simply BRILLIANT!

Michelle Obama Marquee at The Forum

Michelle Obama Speaks at The Forum.JPG

I went to Coachella and made a few trips to Texas, but other than that, I didn’t travel much in 2018. Part of that was by design because I had to sacrifice March to November to work on the series. It was worth it though, the lessons I learned will be huge for me going forward.

Coachella Ferris Wheel

Speaking of Coachella, it was cool and all, but I’m not about to gas ya’ll… I’m much too old for it! I was tired, my feet hurt, I was hungry, it was hot, basically it’s a young person’s sport. It was cool to see Beyonce perform live though, I didn’t even know I was a part of the Bee-Hive until she did her thing on stage… But I know now!

Beyonce performs at Coachella 2018

I had a blast at a few other shows around LA….

Anita Baker.

Anita Baker and Stevie Wonder at The Greek Theater

Childish Gambino.

Childish Gambino Live at the Forum

Maroon 5.

Maroon 5 Live at The Forum

Teyona Taylor.

Teyana Taylor Live at The Novo

Jorja Smith.

Jorga Smith Live at The Wiltern

In a nutshell, that was my 2018. I hope everyone had a great year, and if not, that’s ok too. Life’s all about, experiencing, learning and adjusting, so I’m calling a prosperous 2019 for us all. Happy New Year.

Ya’ll be safe and keep living!


P.S. Click HERE to subscribe to the blog so that I can keep you up to date with the latest!

My 25th Trip Around The Sun.

Yes, I know I’m late, but on February 15th, I turned 25..… Again.

Thanks for all of the birthday posts, texts, calls and well wishes. I didn’t plan anything because it’s hard to get people out so close to Valentines. At one point, considered doing a beach, flag football game, or having a paintball war, but procrastination is real. Luckily, I have a couple of people that surprised me with Birthday plans.

Candice took me to Catalina Island for a day of exploration. It was a bit cool, so we didn’t bother with the outdoor activities. But we did eat a lot of food, and down a few drinks. Then we took a long stroll and enjoyed the scenery while we talked about random things. Like how much money a drug dealer could make there because they didn’t screen any luggage on the ferry ride over.


I don’t know why people talk down on Catalina, it’s pretty dope to me. It reminds me of a small, European coastal city. I’ve never been to Europe, but that’s what it reminds me of.

The next morning, I thought we were going to Marina Del Rey for brunch, but to my surprise, my girl Sarah had a brunch cruise planned for me. I had a blast and ended up drunk, even though I told these misfits I needed to stay sober so I could write later. Peer pressure.


Life has been a bit…. Nah, fuck that, let’s keep it a buck….. Life has been HEEEEELLA stressful for ya boy here lately, so I’m glad I was able to unwind, laugh and spend time with close friends.

Again, thanks for thinking about me on my born date, ya’ll keep living!

– Bob

Five Years In Los Angeles.

Today makes five years in Los Angeles, and just to annoy my girl Tanedra, I guess I should say, “It’s my Caliversary!” LOL, Love ya T!

But in all seriousness, five years, man that’s crazy! I can’t even begin to tell you where the time went. One thing people often ask me is how did I even end up pursing acting in the first place. So if you have a minute, I’ll explain, because that is the very reason I’m in Los Angeles.

In the deep backwoods of East Texas, there sits a small town called Woodville, Texas. That’s where I grew up, heavily involved in sports, where baseball was my first love. My first year of T-Ball I SUCKED! At the end of the season I went to spend the remainder of the summer with my Dad in Lufkin, Texas. He practiced with me daily and made me play against my older cousins. I got a lot better.

I know this has nothing to do with acting, but it was during that summer that I found a VHS tape that changed my life. No, it wasn’t porn, it was a standup comedy special, Eddie Murphy: Delirious. It wasn’t appropriate for a 5 year old, but I learned it from front to back. It was then that I discovered I wanted to be a comedian.

Fast forward several years through a lot of sporting events, fights, girls, and somewhere down the line, I graduated from college. A couple of years later, I’m driving home from work when I hear a radio ad for an acting class. I signed up. It wasn’t standup comedy, but I liked it. This was late 2007.

I stuck with it, booked a few indie projects and a commercial, and in 2011 I decided to move to New Orleans. There were bigger films shooting there and it allowed me to be close to my family and girlfriend back in Texas. I got an agent there and booked a couple higher profile projects, everything was going good. And then there was Hurricane Isaac.

I actually went to Texas a week before the storm landed, to avoid whatever was to come. I didn’t return until the power was restored at my apartment. When I walked through my front door, I realized that I forgot to trash the food in my fridge. That combined with 3 weeks of New Orleans heat had my place smelling like death. While cleaning out the mess I decided I was moving to Atlanta. There were more roles for black actors there, so I could build up more resume a bit more and I had more friends living there to hang out with.

Since my lease was ending in September, I decided to go back to Dallas to plan my move to Atlanta, telling myself I’d move by January. I didn’t. The week I was supposed to go apartment hunting in Atlanta, I booked a last-minute flight to Los Angeles instead. I’d been out to visit LA damn near every year since 2007, I had a friends living there, and the end goal was to eventually move out West anyways.

So just like that, with no research, I decided I’d fly to LA, apartment hunt during lunch breaks, so I wouldn’t have to take off from work, and I figured I’d have a spot by Friday before I flew back to Texas. First off, I was dead wrong, I wanted to live in the city but I got a hotel way the fuck out in Burbank. DUMB. With traffic, I only had time to view 1 apartment per day, unless I took off from work. But I couldn’t take off from work because I always saved vacation days in case I booked something that required me taking extended time off. Quick side note, I work from home so I pretty much can work from anywhere as long as I have a decent Internet connection and a cell phone.

I ended up hitting up my homie Bernard, who I’d recently met and worked with for a few weeks on a film in New Orleans. I knew he was moving to LA around the same time I now planned to, so luckily he’d come across a leasing agent that had a few units open in Koreatown. I had to lock something in asap, because by now it’s already Thursday and I was heading back to Texas Friday.

I ended up meeting the leasing agent and paying my deposit for a small, 650 sq ft studio. It wasn’t the best, but it was going to work for now. Now that I think about it, I wonder whatever happened to my little homie James. He was this little Mexican kid that lived next door to me. Every time I’d see him with his Mom, he’d have this huge smile and run up to me kicking his soccer ball. I’d “play defense” against him, and let him go by me to make a goal, and he’d yell “SCOOOOOOOORE!” Haha, that was random but I wonder how he’s doing, he has to be like 10 or 11 now.

So many life lessons were experienced as a result of this move, so many ups and downs, a few cool bookings, a few close calls on major film and tv projects that I didn’t book, but I wouldn’t trade any of it. I’ve learned a lot about myself through all of this. I’m truly grateful for all of it, as well as the new friends I’ve met, many of whom are transplants as well, so we’re figuring this town out together.

I will admit that with each trip to visit Texas, I’m somewhat tempted to move back. All of my friends are married with kids, and have 5BR homes that are like $200k cheaper than buying a decent 2BR condo in LA. They have a backyard and a dog. When I feel that urge, I simply remind myself that I came to LA for a reason, and sacrifices had to be made so I could chase a dream. So far I have no regrets.

Ya’ll keep living!


P.S. I didn’t intend on this post being so long, but I started typing and the memories started flowing. Self-reflection is a good thing though, sometimes we get so focused on where we wanna go that we forget to appreciate how far we’ve come.

Thank You!

Corny, yet obligatory mirror pic from my trailer while on set. lol

It’s been a wild week! Many of you know I had a co-star role in last week’s episode of American Crime Story.(s2e2), so I wanted to take a moment to let you all know that I appreciate your support. The love was felt in every Facebook post, comment, text and phone call that I received.

I also would like to apologize to my friends and family that had no clue I’d booked this gig. Please understand, the powers that be had us all sign NDAs, so I was paranoid to tell anyone. I don’t know what would’ve happened if I did, but Hollywood circles are small and people talk, so I wasn’t taking any chances of burning bridges with casting directors.

It was a blast being on set, everyone was cool, the food was GREAT and I wish I could do it every day. Now I just have to figure out how to watch myself on screen without wanting to throw up, I still haven’t watched the entire episode. 🙂

But seriously, thanks again for the support. One last thing, it’s been a slow grind for me, but if any of you out there are having doubts about chasing your dreams or whatever, just go for it. Do some research, make a plan, and take action. It doesn’t have to be an artsy thing like acting, maybe you wanna go back to school, learn a new language, pursue a new career, whatever it is, just start. Today! It’ll be scary, but it’s worth it, stop making excuses and take that first step.

Ok I’m done, ya’ll keep living!

– Bob

How Fear And Self-Doubt Played Me In 2017.

I know I’m over a week late, but Happy New Year! I sure as hell can’t believe it’s 2018, can you?! It’s funny how the older you get, the simpler your plans become to ring in the New Year. This year Candice and I went to an early church service and later met up with friends for dinner.

I had some great moments in 2017, I’m a huge music fan so I saw a lot of my favorite artists live. Sampha, Jay Z, Kendrick Lamar, Wale and Jidenna. I booked a cool acting gig that I will speak more about soon. I also got to audition for a couple of my favorite television shows, and even though I didn’t book them, I got callbacks on both. I was also in consideration for a “life-changing” role for a few months before I found out I didn’t get it. The guy that did book the role is featured on the marketing billboards, and there’s one by my house that I drive by every day. Kinda weird knowing I could’ve possibly been up there. But I’m not complaining, progress is progress.

One goal that I failed to meet in 2017 was to self produce a project that I’ve been dragging my feet on for years. I told myself 2017 would be the year I got it done, but I failed miserably. I thought it was procrastination and sheer laziness that was stopping me, but during church I realized it wasn’t. It was fear and doubt. And to be completly honest, I can’t believe I just typed that. As men, we go on and on about how we “Fear Nothing But God” but that’s a lie. I fear a lot of things and at the moment, this writing/producing content goal scares the shit out of me.

**Side bar, this post is a bit more personal than usual. In 2012, I had a therapist suggest I start a blog to document my thoughts and open up more, but I never did. Going forward the topics on this blog will be changing a bit, to finally do what she suggested all those years ago. I hope these types of posts will help and encourage others.**

Back to the fear and doubt. What bothered me most was that it wasn’t as if I was too busy with my personal life or work to accomplish this goal, I thought about it daily. I had a script that I felt was entertaining and I was constantly rewriting and reworking scenes to make it better. I had writer/director/producer friends tell me that “it was better than a lot of stuff out there, so shoot it.” But I didn’t. I’d get cold feet. I constantly used football games, family issues back home or hanging out with friends as an excuse to avoid doing the work. I compared myself to others on social media that were already doing what I planned to do. So I did nothing. My confidence was shot. Some days it felt like something creative that no one would expect from a silly guy like myself, and some days I wanted to throw my laptop in the ocean.

As an actor or entertainer in today’s climate, it’s important to create your own projects to remain busy and to showcase all the talents that you possess. With that said, fear and doubt is a mind game that I can no longer afford to lose. My MAIN creative goal for 2018 is to revisit the same goal from 2017 and get this thing shot, editied and out for the world to consume.

Is there anyone else out there struggling with a goal or talent that scares you? If so, what are your plans to overcome that fear in 2018?

God speed.


Birthday Getaway To My Favorite City… San Francisco!

As a late birthday present to myself, we spent last weekend in San Francisco. It was Candice’s first time, so I planned an entire itinerary, and THEN the rain came! 🙁

It all started Friday in LA with a 4 hour flight delay, then came the turbulent flight that led to me making the most “non-manly” scream in history. *In my defense, the flight was hella bumpy and the scream was more of a quick yelp, so no need to revoke my man card.*

The rain stopped Saturday morning so we got out to see the Golden Gate Bridge, the “Full House” house and Fisherman’s Wharf.  We planned to start the day with brunch at Brenda’s French Soul Food, but we couldn’t manage the wait because we were already starving.  We ended up at Elite Cafe, which was really good, so no complaints there.

The rest of the weekend we did hood rat things which included: debating Kodak Black’s music, eating leftovers and pizza while watching the NBA All Star Dunk Contest and All Star game.  We also knocked out Friday, Next Friday and a few episodes of SVU.

If you’ve never been to San Francisco, GO!  It’s probably my favorite city based off of architecture alone.  One tip I would give is to find a place on Air BnB, you’ll find better deals there than you would at a hotel.  It’s also dope to stay in an actual neighborhood to get a sense of what life would be like as a local.

Here’s a few pics!
Rain DropsStormy Weather San Francisco Ocean BeachElite CafeElite Cafe's BarBrunch DateBrunch Time

Elite Cafe MenuBacon, Duck Gumbo, Crawfish EtouffeeCollard GreensCasual OOTDGolden Gate BridgeThe "Full House" House Girl Scout Cookies

Fisherman's Wharf Lobster Crab Roll

2016: The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

2016….. What a year. I don’t know where to begin, but I will say it most definitely was a whirlwind for me.  Just a heads up, this is gonna be  long post where I speak on some of the highs and lows I faced in 2016, as well as some lessons learned.

I’ll start by saying I became a “pseudo” minimalist in 2016.  It started with basic spring cleaning back in March, and then I went to my homegirl Chinye’s house for brunch, and she showed us her closet.  For someone that’s always stylish, she didn’t have a lot in her wardrobe.  When I got home, I counted 40’ish pairs of jeans, chinos and trousers, realizing I only wore 5 of them on a regular basis.  Your taste in clothing changes over time, not just style, but fit, colors, everything!  Here are a couple of old photos I found on my cloud, look at this shit man. Where was I going in this?

Camo Blazer

Why?Blue Suit

Again, why?Red Blazer

Thank God I never wore these camo joints!

Red Dockers

Peach tho? 🙁

Peach tho?

I still like these chucks, but I’m too damn old for them!

Red Converse

Off to Buffalo Exchange I went, I had bags full of dress shirts, tees, shorts, jeans, chinos, ties, sweaters, sneakers, loafers, watches, and so much more.  Nothing hurt worse than giving up 3 or 4 J.Crew suits and barely getting a tenth of what I paid in return.  So much waste, so much with tags still attached, so much money tailoring things I’d never even worn, I was so pissed at myself.

I literally got rid of everything in my closet, except for a few pair of sneakers, dress shoes and my go to jeans that I could still fit and stomach wearing.  When I started to “rebuild” I made sure the new purchases centered around gray and navy.  Everything had to be timeless and complement each other so I could wear them for a while, none of that trendy shit.  I prefer white shirts(solid or patterned) and gray or black tees, so that’s all I bought.  I’m not a true minimalist by definition, but I’m pretty close.  I also feel I can do more with what I have because everything mixes and matches nicely.  So no matter the reason, if you’re considering starting over with your wardrobe, DO IT.  Take your time with it and do it right, it’s scary at first but well worth it.

Next topic.  Back in June I left my 9 year comfort zone and got a new job.  The hardest part was leaving all of my crazy friends and co-workers, BUT a 41% salary increase made for a seamless transition. 🙂  All I can say is the days of staying with one company your entire career is over, who needs loyalty?  Haha, nah but on a serious note, never be afraid to test the waters to see what’s out there.  I had a few possible consulting situations that would have required frequent travel, but I lucked out and got another work from home gig.  God looked out because this allows me to make all of my auditions.  Shout out to God for being the original plug.

Speaking of auditions, in 2016 I fell completely off the map with the acting grind.  Mentally, Hollywood beat my ass.  Like Ronda Rous… Nevermind, too soon?  To be clear, when I say “fell off the grind”, I simply mean I stopped hustling, I lost the fire for a minute, I stopped going to class consistently, where as I’m usually in class year round.  Oddly enough, my callback rate went up and I was “on hold” for  3 or 4 popular shows, one of which is my FAVORITE at the moment.  I’m talking about true, career changing situations, so when you get that close and then hear ‘No’ again, it does a number on you.  One was excruciating because it was 4 months before a decision was made.  The most annoying is when you lose a role based on your social media following.  You can KILL your audition, be the most talented and best fit for the role, but if the powers that be have another option that has 250,000 Instagram followers, guess who books the role. 🙁

On the flip side, me unplugging a bit allowed me to finally finish a script I’d been tinkering with.  And by no means do I consider myself a writer per se, but writing projects for yourself has been the new wave a few years now, and I’ve had ideas and the funds to shoot some things, but I’ve been dragging my feet with it.  I got good feedback from a few trusted, filmmaker friends, so one of my goals for 2017 is to go ahead and shoot this shit.  It’s a bit scary putting it out there, because now I know you guys are gonna be looking for it, so I guess there’s no turning back now.  I’m currently doing some rewrites and actually reading a book on screenwriting, so it’s getting there.  And yes I know I said I’m reading a book on screenwriting after I wrote the script, but I do a lot of things backwards so don’t judge.  That’s just how I roll.

2016 was also the year of weight gain for me.  Yea, yea, yea, I know you’re thinking, “worrying about weight gain is for women” but FUCK!  THAT!  Fellas ya’ll know good and damn well we be having body issues as well, we just too ‘manly’ to admit it.  For the record I weigh 181, and gained only 10 pounds, but my issue is it’s not the ‘good’ weight gain that comes in the form of lean muscle mass.  My shit just decided to develop into a beginner’s gut.  And my apologies to anyone that sees my pictures and think I’m whining and don’t have a real weight problem.  I have a right to not be satisfied with my health like everyone else.  Relax.

Back to the story, what I was saying is that I recently lost a few pounds of flab by adding boxing to the workout routine.

Boxing Gloves.

But I mean an actual fighting gym, not just a “cardio boxing” class, which is also fine, but I prefer the real deal.  Boxing workouts are brutal, but well worth it once you’re drenched in sweat a couple of hours later.  It’s hard to put out that kinda effort on your own but to have a real coach pushing you, it’s a rush!  It’s also inspiring to see the “real” boxers doing their thing.  So if you’re looking to lose a few pounds, try something you actually like, for me it’s sprints at the track, boxing and hitting the weight room.  Whatever you do, don’t put it off because we’re not getting any younger!  Hopefully some months down the road, I’ll have some photos of swollen eyes and a bloody nose to show you guys, because I most def want to get good enough to spar.  But it’s a process.

With all that being said, I’m looking forward to seeing what 2017 has in store for us all.  Ya’ll be safe and KEEP LIVING!

-Bobby Ray